The Mary sue fic
by Mod Fae
Summary: This fanfic is to show people what a Mary Sue is so they don't write one!
1. Marissa goes to Middle Earth

~*~Disclaimer and notes~*~  
  
I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of the characters  
  
This fanfic is not meant to offend any one..it's merely to show what a Mary Sue is so you could avoid making one. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Marissa sat at her desk in school the math teacher going on and on about fractions. She sighs flipping her long raven black hair which is a bit wavy and goes to the very middle of her back. She had it slightly tapered last week. Her crystal ice blue eyes staring at the doodles she made during class.  
  
Finally the bell rang and Marissa rushed out with the others. As made her way to her locker she thought about how stupid all these classes where. Right then and there she decided it may be easier to quit school and become a stripper. As she neared her locker she pushed the thought out of her mind and she packed up her homework in her backpack and got on the bus for the ride home.  
  
The bus stopped on her street and she got off and walked to her house going upstairs she dumped her back pack on the floor and flopped on the bed opening up the latest book she was reading titled the Lord of the Rings. She found it boring and liked the movie better but she had to read it for school.  
  
She soon fell asleep and woke up. But not in her own bed. She found herself in this huge bed that looked like Rivendell in the movie. She slowly sat up and looked around with her crystal ice blue eyes studying her surroundings. She looked at her self in a mirror and noticed she wasn't wearing jeans and a t-shirt anymore and instead she was wearing a long flowing blue dress with sliver embroidering. She then noticed something else about her in the mirror. Instead of her ears being normal they were.POINTY! And her lips.they were blood red like she had lipstick on.but she DIDN'T!  
  
As Marissa was staring at herself and her surroundings there was a knock at the door to her bedroom. Marissa jumped in surprise and went and opened the door. An elf maid walked in and bowed to Marissa as she set a tray of food on a table and made the bed. Marissa being starving ate the food which was a few different fruits in a bowl and a glass of wine. Marissa sniffed the wine questionable then took a sip and it was surprisingly tasty un-like the other wine she as had in the past. Although the only wine she had was that cheap crap her grandma always bought for Christmas.  
  
The maid finished making the bed and was an about to leave when Marissa stopped her "Wait.excuse me miss but.where am I?" The elf maid laughed at this question then realized that Marissa was serious. "Lady Firfenwen you are in Rivendell your home."  
  
"What did you just call me?" "Lady Firfenwen. My lady"  
  
"But that's not my name! My name is Marissa Jones."  
  
The maid shooke her head and left the room leaving Marissa in confusion. Questions un-answered rolled around in her head. How did she get here? Why did she look like an elf? Why had that maid called her Firfenwen? And why did she call her LADY Firfenwen? As she thought all this over there was another knock at her door. Marissa sighed and yelled "Come in". Arwen walked in and sat on the bed Marissa woke up in.  
  
"Firfenwen what is wrong my sister? Why is it you are asking the maid where you are and telling her you name is not Firfenwen?"  
  
"Um.because it's NOT! My name is Marissa! Marissa Jones! Not Lady Firfenwen! And I'm not an elf! I'm human.and did you call me your sister?"  
  
"Yes I called you my sister! You ARE my sister! And you ARE an elf and your name IS Firfenwen!"  
  
Marissa sighed and laid down on the bed screaming in her pillow. Arwen confused stands and walks to the door and as she's about to walk out turns and says to Marissa.  
  
"You obviously are not feeling well! Take a nap and I'll have Father come by later and talk to you."  
  
And with that she left Marissa totally and completely alone. Marissa lies on the bed staring at the ceiling hoping to wake up from this dream as soon as possible. 


	2. After she gets to middle earth

Marissa fell asleep in that big bed then woke again to find Elrond in her room sitting by her bed looking at her in concern. Marissa was getting annoyed at not waking up in her own bed and everything that had happened jumps out her bed and starts screaming at Elrond and taking her frustration out on a pillow. All the while Elrond looks on horrified. Finally out of breath and pillow in shreds Marissa stops and sits down. Elrond after a long pause speaks.  
  
"What is wrong my daughter?"  
  
"Don't call me your daughter! I'm not your daughter! I'm not Firfenwen! I'm, MARISSA JONES! Get it??? MARISSA! Not Lady Firfenwen! I'm not your daughter! I'm not Arwen's sister! I'm not an elf! I'm HUMAN!"  
  
Elrond very taken aback stares in wonder at Marissa. Then he speaks again.  
  
"My daughter you must have had a strange dream and forgotten who you are! Come now! We have guests and you must greet them with the rest of us. Maybe getting out of your room for a while will help for a bit."  
  
Marissa sighed in frustration. 'No one gets it' she thought as she walked out with Elrond to greet the guests. Arwen having been out side eavesdropping gives Marissa a warm huge.  
  
"The one Halfling has woken up! He's better now! There are many people arriving for father's 'secret meeting' about the ring."  
  
Marissa trying to seem like she understood all Arwen was rambling about smiles.  
  
"Oh good! So there will be a feast?"  
  
"Why of course my sister!"  
  
Arwen takes Marissa by the arm and leads her out to a garden where there are many people waiting. There was Boromir, and Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf, Gimli, and other people. Marissa not knowing that Elrond does all the talking and his daughters just stand there and look pretty starts talking to Boromir about how his clothes clash. Elrond gives her a warning look and Arwen comes up behind her and pulls her back and whispers in her ear to be quiet. Marissa takes a hint and shuts up.  
  
Elrond then welcomes them and invites them to a feast and keeps apologizing to Boromir for his daughter. Boromir didn't even get what Marissa was talking about so just nods his head and goes to the feast. Marissa follows everyone in quietly and takes a seat next to Boromir and you cloud tell by Elrond's face he was livid! Marissa flips her raven black wavy hair that's tapered slightly and comes down to the EXACT middle of her back and digs into the food before she's supposed to. Elrond gives her a disapproving look and she mutters "Sorry" after swallowing her food. The feast goes on and then they all go into a room for singing and story telling.  
  
Marissa over looks everyone with her crystal ice blue eyes and listens to the singing and stories but then gets bored and vigilantly leaves the room so no one notices and stands out on a baloney looking at the stars with her raven black wavy hair that's tapered slightly and comes down to the exact middle of her back wavy in the slight breeze. Marissa hears some footsteps behind her and turned her head to see this TOTALLY hot guy who is (of course) Legolas. Marissa Smiled to her self and turned her head back to the stars so she wasn't obvious that she was checking him out.  
  
And as she turn back her head to the stars and laid her hand on her other hand she noticed something! She was wearing a ring! But not ANY ring! No. This ring was the EXTRA ring of power they NEVER mention! That's right! The real version of the ring of power poem ends with "One secret extra ring made JUST for Lady Firfenwen Elrond's BEAUTIFUL daughter with raven black wavy hair slightly tapered and comes down to the exact middle of her back and crystal ice blue eyes. The only other elf who is more beautiful then Luthien Tinuviel." Marissa of course read that poem on her magic ring of power. She also read what the ring does. It allows her to talk to animals. So while she was read all this Legolas comes up behind her and talks to her in elfish about you know she's so beautiful and everything so yeah. Then he kisses her and they go to Legolas's room for a night of passion.  
  
(A/N Well that's a great way to end this great new chapter. Don't you love it? I know you do. I'm great aren't I? I know I am!) 


	3. Going places

Well so the next day Marissa wakes up in bed with Legolas who is getting dressed because he has to go to the meeting with Elrond. So Marissa puts on a long flowing purple and white dress (even though she's in Legolas's room but hey! She DOES have a ring of power!) Marissa then goes with Legolas to the meeting and on the way her pets great her!  
  
There is Fluffy and Puffy the ferrets, Regale the Eagle, and Stripes the Bengal tiger that follows her everywhere and protects her.  
  
Fluffy: [Where have you been?]  
  
Puffy: [Who's that?]  
  
Regale: [I want a mouse. You got a mouse? I'm hungry.]  
  
Stripes: [What where you doing last night Firfenwen? Huh? I KNOW you did SOMETHING!]  
  
Marissa decided to ignore them and just pat each one on the head and continues with Legolas all her animals following her. As they reach the meeting place they notice several hobbits hiding and watching. So Marissa sits down and you know is listening to them talk about the ring. Then Frodo gets up and says that he'll take it and Aragorn, Gimli, Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Sam volunteer to go. And Marissa not wanting to be left out volunteers to go. And she's so beautiful that they CAN'T say no to her and you know Legolas can't say no cuz he's hoping he's gonna get some more on the way to Mordor if you know what I mean.  
  
So they start out and Marissa gets on her white horse Ginger with Fluffy, Puffy, Regale and Stripes following because they want to. So they walk and walk and then they go up that one evil mountain.not mount Doom.because that's a volcano.it's um.it starts with a C. So yeah and they are all cold and discouraged so to cheer them up being the wonderful and kind girl she is with her crystal ice blue eyes sparkling she sings to them.  
  
"This is a story about a girl named Lucky. Early morning she wakes up with a knock knock knock on her door. It's time for make-up a perfect smile. It's you they're all waiting for. She is so luuuuuuuucky but why does she cry? And they say. She's so lucky she's a star but she cry cry cries in her lonely heart thinking. If there is nothing missing in my life why do tears come at night? Lost in an image in a dream and there's no one there to wake her up and the world keeps spinning and she keeps on winning but tell me what happens when it stops?"  
  
Well she sings all of the song and everyone with a tear in their eyes smiles and feels better. So then she uses her ring of power and they snowboard (yes even Bill, Ginger, Fluffy, Puffy, Regale, and Stripes) down the mountain and then Frodo gets this idea that Moria would be cool to visit at this time of month. So they go there but can't get in because Gandalf forgot his ID. So he's looking all over for it when this really mean guy named Bob. Who is the watcher of the pool decides to eat Frodo. So Marissa with her raven black wavy slightly tapered hair that comes to the exact middle of her back whipping around her face and her crystal ice blue eyes flaring single handedly saves Frodo with her great archery skills and sword fighting skills and her Bengal Tiger Stripes helping her. She saves Frodo then she figures out where Gandalf's ID is and they get into Moria.  
  
But instead of all the cool stuff it's supposed to have there are skeletons! Marissa of course is able to contain her self while every one else runs out screaming and looked on at all these skeletons and yelled at them that,  
  
"I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THE GAP OF ROHAN! I NEED NEW CLOTHES!"  
  
Oh clothes remind me of something you know all her pretty dresses? Yes well she is still wearing them and there is not ONE speck of dirt of them! Amazing!  
  
So they realize that Marissa will protect them so they go inside of Moria and are in there for a while and in all that time Marissa was able to sleep with Aragorn. Boromir and all the hobbits. But she would with Gandalf and Gimli because beards are gross.  
  
So then Pippin throws a guys head down this well and all these orcs come and Marissa kills them all. But then there is this mean Bullfrog decided to crash the party and took Gandalf away. Marissa figured out that Saruman set up a blind date for Gandalf and Mr. Bullfrog. So she told them to move it. And they made there way to Lothlorien. 


	4. The end

(A/N: Replies to people who left reviews  
  
Beatrice: Sorry Fluffy isn't named after you. . . but I will give you a cameo! Just CALM DOWN!!!  
  
DarkQueenOfTheWhump: Yesss it helps to read it as a parody. . .It's much easier on you mind.  
  
Mari: You're welcome!  
  
Imprisoned in Cork: She's a mindless Mary Sue zombie! Reading is beneath her!  
  
Christina: Thank you!  
  
Manon: Mooohahaha! Thanks!  
  
Well that's all for now. . . now for the next chapter in the story!)  
  
Well while everyone was running to Lothlorien they got tired and had to take a break just as it was getting dark. As they were resting they saw a lizard like thing chasing a turkey. The turkey knowing that Marissa was a great girl and was nice to all creatures, (A/N gag me) flew into her arms. And he told her Beatrice La Chupacabra was chasing him and wanted to suck his blood. Marissa hid the turkey and Beatrice came up to her and said,  
  
"Give me the turkey you Mary Sue!"  
  
Marissa annoyed at being called a Mary Sue lunged at Beatrice. But Beatrice was to fast for her and she stole her turkey and flew off into the night. So after this all happened Haldir and his elves came up behind them pointing arrows at them. (In the distance you can hear Beatrice laughing) Haldir of course seeing Marissa who was so beautiful invited them to stay in his tree then go to see Galadriel because she had prezzies for them.  
  
So they slept in a tree and then went to see Galadriel and she welcomed them to Lothlorien. Gave them tents. Gave them food. Then the next day she made them leave and before they left she gave people prezzies. She gave Aragorn and knife, Legolas a bow, Gimli hair that collected in her bath drain, Boromir got a nothing because he is mean, Sam got dirt, Pippin and Merry got knives, Frodo got a flashlight, and Marissa got a whole new wardrobe from the Gap of Rohan.  
  
Then they all get into the boats and start paddiling away. Marissa knew that Gollum was following them. She felt sorry for the poor thing and wanted to make friends with him. Gollum ran at the sight of her. Marissa under her raven black wavy slightly tapered hair that came to the exact middle of her back didn't under stand why Gollum was afraid of her! I mean she was the nicest, prettiest, smartest, coolest, and all around greatest girl in Middle Earth! Why would he be afraid? She decided to just leave him alone and maybe he would come around a realize all she wanted to do was help him.  
  
Well they came to this rocky place and Boromir was chasing Frodo trying to get the ring and some orcs with a fancy name. Marissa couldn't be bothered to remember their name as she was to busy killing them. Unfortunetly Boromir died and Frodo and Sam ran away. And Merry and Pippin were captured.  
  
But Marissa wouldn't let that get her down! She, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli went to the Gap of Rohan to get clothes and then went to save Merry and Pippin. But see all them fancy named orcs were killed by Riders of Rohan and Merry and Pippin were no where to be found. So they hooked up with Gandalf who got a new makeover and was all white instead of grey. Well then they went to Rohan helped to king become sane again.  
  
Then they went to Helm's Deep where there was more of those fancy named orcs. Marissa killed them all without getting a scratch on her. Then they went to Isingard found Merry and Pippin then they went on the paths of the dead and stuff.  
  
Well then there was a battle and Marissa helped them win it and the ring was destroyed . . . blah blah blah blah blah.now for the good part!  
  
Well all of the fellowship was in love with Marissa and they all proposed to her. (exept Boromir who is dead) Marissa turned down Gimli and Gandalf because she doesn't like beards. She turned down Aragorn because is stubble was sractchy. She turned down Sam because she didn't want Rosie to bite off her knee caps. She turned down Frodo Because he is all disturbed and mental now. She turned down Merry because well just because.  
  
Now there were only two people left. Legolas and Pippin. Well she thought long and hard and finally she made a decision. She married Pippin because short guys turn her on. So they get married and Marissa turns Pippin immortal with her ring of power and they live happily ever after. The End. 


End file.
